Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Marathon vs. kidney stone

Which hurts more? It's not even close, actually. Take your worst-ever ending of a marathon, the one where you're bonking badly, dehydrated, cramped with a screaming hammie or two, immersed in a fatigue that weighs on you like warm death, throw in a dizzy spell with flashing bright lights, the "wall" is as thick as the 10K you still have to run....

Now compare that to the passing of a silly millimeter kidney stone, and you'll take the dehydrated bonk any day.

Kurt's passing his first stone as we write. Or make that, the doctors have decided it's a a bit chunky to pass on its own, so they're going to puverize the little beast with some shock waves. No big deal. The hard part is behind him. The part where you crawl up in a ball as some alien beast attacks from the inside. The part where you think you're gonna die and say hurry up. For Kurt, dopey on demerol and soon to have a sore ab from the shock waves, this part is like the long walk in mylar. You're weary, but the rage is over.

For the record, I've run 12 marathons and passed 4 kidney stones, so I write this with some authority. Kurt finished his inaugural marathon in October and now the first stone. I'm not sure if he's just trying to keep up or compete in the Worst Pains Ever Department, or what. If he gets pregnant soon, I guess we'll know.